The Joker Meets His Match
by Ninja Master
Summary: The sequel to The Last Joke.  Even death can't stop Ron from returning from the dead.
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1

A year isn't necessarily a very long time. But to some people, it can be the equivalent of half a lifetime.

Ever since the death of the Joker, Kick-Ass and Hit Girl, the wizard Merlin had been studying the many rifts that had appeared in the space-time continuum. In the end, the half-demon mage had come to the conclusion that history - was WRONG.

"You choose a nightmarish course of events if you pursue this, this LUNACY," the man named Jason Blood told the wizard. "Merlin, is there no other way-?"

"No," Merlin cut off the former knight. "I'm sorry, Jason," he used the man's original name. "But needs must as the devil drives, and you know as well as I do that Kick-Ass and Hit Girl should not have died back then."

"Perhaps, perhaps not. I remain to be convinced those two are so vital to the future," Jason said in distaste.

"What does it matter now?" Merlin asked. "You know what I must do."

"Then do it," Jason looked away.

Merlin began to chant:

"Yarva Demonicus Etrigan.  
Change, change the form of man.  
Free the prince forever damned.  
Free the might from fleshy mire.  
Boil the blood in heart of fire.  
Gone, o gone the form of man,  
Rise the demon Etrigan!"

Instantly, the tall, thin, suave man with dark red hair and a lined face disappeared; and in his place, an actual demon from Hell appeared.

Etrigan. He looked like a squat, muscular humanoid creature with orange skin, horns, red eyes, and ears resembling bat wings. His hands were claws, his cape was blue, and as the son of the demon Belial he was Merlin's half-brother on his father's side.

"Long has it been, since we have seen each other. You do not look well, my thrice-damned brother," Etrigan rhymed his words due to his recent promotion in Hell's hierarchy.

Merlin did not bother to reply to the insult. He gave Etrigan his specially modified Runestone and bade him, "Use this to travel back in time one year to the day, Etrigan. Save Kick-Ass and Hit Girl from their untimely deaths."

"Save them I will, from death's darkest pit. Beware you though, what fires you would lit," Etrigan snarled, as he vanished into the past.

As it so happened, the demon succeeded in his mission – but only at the cost of preventing Kick-Ass and Hit Girl from capturing the evil Joker, the man once known as Ron Stoppable. Thus, the collateral damage from Merlin's actions began to skyrocket...

Including the horribly gruesome death of Catwoman at the Joker's hands, the woman named Selina Kyle - who had been pregnant with the unborn son of Bruce Wayne, a.k.a. Batman.

But life went on, and one night Batman's friend Batgirl, a.k.a. Kim Possible, threw a couple of batarangs at the supervillain named Monkey Fist. One of the batarangs hit his hand.

"OW! Not bad, Batgirl," he said with a smirk. THUP! The supervillain pulled out the batarang from his palm. "But not good enough!"

"Just give up, Monkey Fist!" Kim shouted at him angrily.

"Never!" He threw the batarang back at her. Kim moved just in time, but the ninja henchman behind Batgirl wasn't so lucky.

The batarang's blade landed straight in his right eye, making the ninja drop the katana he was holding. Naturally, this made the ninja curse out loud in Japanese. He yanked out the batarang, and grunted in pain.

Monkey Fist just sighed. "The hired help these days..."

"That was not very smart, Batgirl," said to the now one-eyed ninja. The mutilated ninja jumped at Kim, and the fight was on.

Batgirl quickly threw him over her head. SLAM! The ninja landed on Monkey Fist, and both fell down in a heap. After a couple of well-placed blows from Kim, they weren't getting up again anytime soon.

Hours later, Batgirl returned the Lotus Blade which Monkey Fist had stolen to its rightful owner.

"Thank you, Batgirl-san," Master Sensei said.

"It was no big." They both bowed to each other. "I'm sorry about Ron," Kim added, for the Joker had been part of the plot but had managed to get away clean – AGAIN.

"Not to blame yourself, Kim-san."

Kim Possible jerked back in surprise. "How did you know it was me?"

"I may be old, but I am very wise. That is how I know, Ron-san will pay for his crimes in death."

Kim almost couldn't believe what's she was hearing. "Ron's going to die?"

"I'm very sorry Kim-san." Master Sensei inclined his head briefly, then turned and walked away.

Batgirl took off into the night. Soon enough she met up with her mentor, and the Bat-jet flew off towards Tricity.

Not far away, having no idea that he and Hit Girl should be dead right now, Kick-Ass was fighting and beating the Riddler's henchmen.

"Fuck it! I'm out of here..." The Riddler ran away with the loot he and his men had stolen from an armoured van. Typical supervillain, he left them behind to save his own ass.

But he couldn't escape Kick-Ass!

"Not so fast, Mr. Riddler."

KA-POW! The masked superhero punched the bad guy in the face. The Riddler fell to the ground and dropped the loot. After Kick-A ss had secured him, the cops arrested Riddler and his henchmen.

At Wayne Manor, Batgirl saw Batman looking at a picture of Catwoman. Kim still couldn't believe how Ron had killed Selina with that Joker venom. Kim just stood there silently as Bruce put down the picture, and headed off down to the Batcave. She figured this was going to get ugly one of these days...

And that day came even sooner than she'd imagined.

Batman punched the Joker with all his strength, sending Ron flying backward. POW! The Joker slammed against the wall, and collapsed downward.

Nonetheless, Ron started to laugh insanely. "Is that all you got, Batman? I thought you could do better than that!"

"Joker, it's over. Now give up and surrender - or else," Batman barely resisted the urge to kill his nemesis in cold blood.

"Give up? But I'm having just soo much fun! And so is your old buddy, the police commissioner. AHAHAHAHHAHAHA!"

"Where's Commissioner Gordon?" Batman looked around, knowing that the Joker had planned in advance yet again, damn him.

"The Commissioner is in one of these gifts, Batman. You don't have too much time left to find him, though. Oh, and Merry Christmas Bats!" Ron tossed a Joker venom bomb at the Dark Knight.

After the bomb detonated, Batman had just enough time to put on a gas mask. But the Joker got away, much to Bruce's chagrin. Vengeance for his unborn child and its mother would have to wait another day.

Batman ripped open the right gift. Freeing Gordon, they both got out of the room just as the bomb-shaped star on the tree went off.

BOOOOMMM! The Middleton mall's second and third floors went up in flames!

"Some Christmas this turned out to be," Jim Gordon said hollowly a bit later on, looking around at all the damage and the dead bodies here and there.

"Tell me about it," snarled Batman, before he turned and disappeared, with a flap of his cape.

Later that night, it started to snow all over Tricity. Kim visited her parents' graves, tears in her eyes. "Mom, Dad, I'm so sorry. God, there are days when I still can't believe this is happening. I still can't believe Ron is the Joker..."

The snow soon covered the whole cemetery in a white blanket. Kim wiped away the snow of the headstone, wishing that Tim and Jim could be here. It read, 'James and Anne Possible. May They Rest In Peace'.

Tears came flooding down Kim's eyes again. "Don't worry. I will make sure Ron gets locked up for the rest of his miserable, misbegotten life!"

Kim was not the only one who wanted to kick the Joker's ass, oddly enough. Hit Girl also wanted to kick his ass as well as kill him. Because the Joker had killed Marcus. The man who had been the best friend of her father.

Hit Girl's father was the man known as Big Daddy. Big Daddy was a superhero that had been killed. A few months ago, Marcus had been taken hostage by the Joker's henchmen during a bank robbery. The henchmen had been wearing white clown masks, which protected them from the Joker venom.

Ron had ordered two henchmen to tie Marcus to a chair, while the other henchmen had stolen the hostages' money from their wallets. After emptying the vault the Joker had said, "It's not every day I kill a cop. Christmas came early this year!"

"Do your worst," Marcus had spat at the enemy.

"Why so serious? Life is too short not to smile," Ron had grinned at him. Before he had started cutting a smile into Marcus' face.

SLASH! Ron had ripped open Marcus' neck with his trusty switchblade. Be the time any of the superheroes came, Marcus was already dead along with most of the hostages. Joker had gotten the jump on Nightwing and the others and escaped with the loot.

The worst part was, the whole fucking thing had been recorded via the bank's video-cameras. It had been enough to make even the most hardened of the cops want to be sick when they saw it.

Somehow, the video feed had gotten leaked out onto the Internet. Her search engine had picked it up, and just now Hit Girl had witnessed the whole gory show.

The 16-year-old girl turned off her computer. Silently, she grabbed her weapons; all set up and ready to take on the Joker. Just like she had been over a year ago; the day she and Kick-Ass had died, before that page in history had been undone by a prince of Hell and his half-demon brother.

Hit Girl drove to into town in the Mist Mobile. She saw Kick-Ass doing his night patrol. "Hey, Kick-Ass!"

He walked to the Mist Mobile and she rolled down the window. "You're still driving Red Mist's car?" he asked curiously.

"Not like he needs it," Hit Girl shrugged, recalling the man who had died last year.

"That's true," said Kick-A ss. He opened the car door and got in. "Where are we going?"

"To the Joker's hideout."

"You know where his new hideout is?" Kick-Ass looked surprised behind the mask.

"Yeah, just outside the city limits of Lowerton."

They drove towards the Joker's hideout in silence. Not knowing how this night would turn out, but hoping that they would have more success than they'd had over the past year to stop a madman who had already killed thousands without remorse.

To Be Continued


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Kick-Ass and Hit Girl arrived at their destination, before they took out the Joker's henchmen at his new hideout. BAM! POW! KA-POW! SLAM! BANG! BANG! BAM!

Once the cannon fodder guarding the outside were dead, Kick-Ass went to fight the other henchmen on the inside. But Hit Girl started looking for the Joker. Annoyed, she started to slice and dice and hack to pieces the mother fuckers that got in her way with her dual detachable sword.

"The Joker doesn't pay me enough for this shit," the last surviving henchman said, dropping the shotgun and deciding to run for it.

"Where do you think you're going?" Hit Girl demanded as she jumped into the air, before her feet landed flat onto his back. The henchman hit the floor, face down. Without mercy, Hit Girl stabbed him in the back; instantly, the man was dead.

She then detached the dual sword, holding both swords in each hand. "Come out, come out, wherever you are..."

Two unlucky bastards she soon ran into didn't know what hit them. HACK! HACK! Hit Girl cut off both their heads, which rolled away across the floor. "Show's over, mother fuckers!"

Incredibly enough, the Joker was simply leaning back and reading a book at that moment. When Batgirl jumped down onto the floor from the open ceiling vent, he just looked at her and smiled.

Kick-Ass had just beaten all but the last of his opponents. But the last henchman had a sword, and he sliced Kick-Ass's batons in two.

Kick-Ass dropped the useless batons. "You asshole! Do you know how much batons made out of bamboo cost?"

"HA HA!" laughed the henchman, trying to imitate his boss. "My sword can..."

Kick-Ass took his handguns from the holsters on his yellow utility belt. BANG! BANG! BANG!

The bad guy fell to the floor, dropping his sword and starting to bleed out.

Elsewhere, the Joker calmly set down his book on the desk. "Kim, I was wondering when you'd show up."

"I'm bringing you in, Ron, this ends now," Kim said coldly.

"Really? As much I love to spend time in the lock-up, in a straitjacket? I don't think so, KP." That was why he pulled out his Magnum .357 from beneath his coat. He took aim and pulled the trigger. CLICK! CLICK!

"Damn it! I guess the joke's on me..." The Joker threw the gun at Batgirl. She ducked easily as the gun hit the wall.

"No more games, Ron." Batgirl grabbed the Joker by his trench coat and then threw him over the desk, barely resisting the urge to rip out his heart with her bare hands.

Ron laughed after landing on the wooden floor. "Shoulda tried to kill me. You're no fun, Kim, anyone ever tell you that?" The Joker got up to his feet as Batgirl was about punch him - when two blades went right through the oak door. Blood dripping down from both of them.

Hit Girl took out her swords out from both the henchman and the door. The henchman fell to the floor behind the door, even though Hit Girl seemed to take no notice of it. BAM! Hit Girl kicked open the door, making quite the entrance for herself.

"Well, if it isn't the famous Hit Girl! I heard about what you and Kick-Ass did to Frank D'amico. That was inspired vengeance - it's almost like you're my hero," the Joker said with a huge smile.

"You're gonna pay for killing Marcus, you cunt!" Hit Girl screamed.

Growing bored, the Joker tossed a smoke bomb into the room. Smoke filled the office, as the Joker ran out the door. No doubt about it, he had more lives than a cat.

"That son of bitch, he's gonna get away!" Hit girl ran after her enemy.

"I can't let Hit Girl kill Ron. If anyone's gonna do that, it's gonna have to be me!" Kim muttered. So Batgirl ran out the door after them.

To Be Continued


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

Etrigan appeared before Merlin, having returned from the past. "This task is done, to my distaste. Now I wait for the chance, to turn you into paste."

Merlin ignored his half-brother's opening insult. "All is not yet finished. You have done well saving Kick-Ass and Hit Girl, but you were not supposed to save the Joker – or Ron Stoppable, or whatever you care to call him. I bid you to fix the 'problem'."

Etrigan snarled, before leaving his half-sibling behind. Not all that far away, the Joker ran into Kick-Ass at his hideout. The superhero said, "Joker, your killing days are over."

"Yeah? So tell me, what kind of a name is Kick-Ass?" the villain replied.

The masked hero shrugged. "What kind of a name is the Joker, anyway?"

"Yeah, ya got me there. Fine - you win, Kick-Ass. I give up."

Of course, Kick-Ass wasn't stupid enough to believe that even as Ron took out his trusty switchblade. But in an incredible acrobatic move, Kick-Ass did a jumping spinning side-kick and kicked it out of his hand.

BANG! The Joker couldn't believe it; the costumed asshole had shot him in the arm!

"Merry Christmas, Kick-Ass," the Joker spat out.

"What?"

"I got you a present."

"I don't want any presents from you!"

"Too bad." The Joker dropped the small present at his feet. The box opened up, and knockout gas came out of the box.

Kick-Ass immediately hit the floor, unconscious. The Joker was tempted to kill him, but decided to cut the bullet out from his arm. Oddly, he didn't feel any pain for some reason.

"That was one spectacular kick, Kick-Ass. What the hell – I'll let you live. When you die, I want you to see my face," Ron said, not knowing that in a sense – that had already happened.

The Joker took off down the hall. His wounded arm left blood on the walls, as he went. The only problem was, Hit Girl was waiting for him.

"Well, I guess this is the end?" the supervillain said sardonically.

"You got that right, Joker. Or should I say Ron Stoppable-"

"No, you shouldn't," the clown prince of crime interrupted Hit Girl. "Ron Stoppable is dead and gone. There's only the Joker here now."

Hit Girl walked closer to the Joker. She then leapt up and jump-kicked him in the chest! "Have it your way, Joker."

Not far away, Batgirl found Kick-Ass laying on the floor. "Are you alright?"

Kick-Ass opened his eyes. "I'm fine. I've had a lot worse." Batgirl helped him to his feet. "Thanks. I'm sure that Hit Girl is beating the shit out of the Joker right now, she was that angry. We gotta find them!"

Kick-Ass and Batgirl paused, as they saw the bullet that was from the Joker's arm on the floor. It was covered in his blood. The Joker's switchblade was right next to it, also covered in the Joker's blood.

"What sick son of a bitch would do that?" asked Kick-Ass. "He carved himself up to take out the bullet?"

"He may be insane and a killer. But even I wouldn't have been able to do that," Kim said, wrapping her arms around herself.

Kick-Ass just shrugged, unlike Batgirl he'd never known Ron at all before he'd become the Joker. "Let's go." They left the living room, where the the headless bodies and their heads were. Before they met up with Hit Girl, Etrigan finally showed up on the scene. He smelled the blood and followed the scent of his quarry, knowing Ron could not be far away.

POW! BAM! POW! KA-POW! KA-POW! BAM! Hit Girl kept punching the Joker in the face, working off all her frustrations.

It surely pissed her off that he kept chuckling, the whole time. Hit Girl got off him and demanded, "What's so funny?"

She only barely noticed in time the dagger coming out of the Joker's sleeve. Hit Girl dodged the blade. CHUK! She stabbed the Joker in the shoulder with her butterfly knife. Both of his arms were useless now.

Still, the Joker laughed liked a madman. "AHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA!"

"Why are you laughing?" demanded Hit Girl.

"All my life, I was a fucking joke. That's the punch line, Hit Girl. If you're going to kill me, hurry up and go ahead."

Hit Girl had never fought a supervillain who wanted to die before. "What?"

At that moment, Batgirl and Kick-Ass came from around the corner down the hall. They saw the blood pour out from the man's wounds.

"Ron?" Kim said, almost unable to believe her eyes.

"Hey, KP. Glad you could finally join us for the main event," the Joker said, chuckling darkly.

"Before you die, I have a question. Do you regret any of the crimes you've committed, any of the people you've killed?" Kick-A ss wanted to know.

"I have no regrets killing Poison Ivy, Shego and Josh. Gil either, come to think of it," Ron replied, still bleeding out.

"What about Selina? Not to mention her baby," Batgirl demanded, her eyes starting to moist over.

"She and Bruce made things difficult for me. Too bad for her Catwoman was in the wrong place at the wrong time, I might not have killed her otherwise," Ron rasped out.

All three of them were shocked to hear this. Then Ron whispered, "I have another confession to make. Everyone, come closer, my voice is going..."

But before history could repeat itself, at that moment Etrigan burst onto the scene. Bashing the three heroes aside, he knocked out the Joker and lifted him up before the villain could use his final emergency weapon all over again.

"Etrigan? What are you doing?" Batgirl asked in confusion. Kim knew who the demon was, thanks to Batman's dealings with Merlin and the prince of Hell.

"Merlin's bidding I must do. But at no point did he say, I must talk to you," Etrigan replied scornfully. Still holding Ron's body in his arms, Etrigan stepped into a portal that had formed on the floor of the hideout, and took his prisoner down the express elevator to Hell.

The Joker's crimes had come to an end. Kick-Ass and Hit Girl simply left in the Mist Mobile; as far as they were concerned, it was case closed.

Kim stayed behind, though. "I'm sorry Ron." Tears came down her face, she was simply unable to help it. Kim mourned her former friend, despite all the vile and terrible crimes he'd committed. She also mourned her own choice of doing something with Josh which she never should have; maybe, just maybe, Ron would never have become the Joker otherwise, despite what Poison Ivy had done way back when.

The Joker was never heard of again. And yet, life went on. It was only two years later, though, when Kim heard on the news that, according to an investigative reporter, Dr. Drakken had secretly fathered a lot of illegitimate children.

Ron's name had been amongst the list of those kids spawned by Two-Face.

"I don't believe it," Kim Possible shook her head. "That's impossible!"

Bruce Wayne shook his head as well, recalling what Merlin and Etrigan had told him not long ago. He was still pi ssed off with them after hearing that even though Kick-Ass and Hit Girl were important enough to the future to be saved, Selina and Thomas - his unborn son –weren't worth the risk of further damage to the timeline.

"Nothing's impossible, Kim," Batman said in a low, gravelly voice. "That's why I wouldn't count Ron Stoppable as dead and gone yet, either. It's never over until you see the enemy's dead body torn into little pieces – and sometimes, not even then."

The End


End file.
